The MAXERS guide to sweet service stations...because nobody else is sad enough!
Service stations are the lifeblood of Maxers cruising long and hard into the night. Some are great, like a neon oasis in a sea of choked tarmac. Others are rat-infested hell holes.
Us MAXERS boys crisscross the UK hunting for Max motors, regularly stopping for petrol and Red Bull power-ups. And when we do, we’ll report back on the goodness, and likely crapness, that we find. If the burgers are bitchin’ and served by babes, we’ll let you know. If the bogs smell like a curry house crapper, we’ll let you know.
And what better place to start our reviews than Thurrock Services on the M25, Essex. This sprawling service station has seen more Cossies, Corsas and pissed off coppers than likely any other purveyor of petrol. Let’s see how it stacks up.
Cruise potential: 6/10
This place has seen it all, and back in the day, well, night, it was heaving with Max motors and cloaked in fragrant tyre smoke. Today, the large car park is quiet. Not fun right now, but ready to receive hundreds of cruisers ahead of a night’s action.
Bog Horrors: 6/10
Walking into a service station toilet is like playing some kind of poo-sniff roulette. If Dave the trucker’s been in and dropped off the mother load you might not live long enough to take a slash, let alone take your time over a luxurious, Auto-Trader-online dump.
"No-one tried to touch us up either, which is a massive bonus"
We’re pleased to report here that while there was a slightly warm ‘n’ spicy mist in the air, it wasn’t to the level of noxious fog. No-one tried to touch us up either, which is a massive bonus.
Tasty Grub: 6.5/10
Walk into the main foyer of Thurrock Services and you’re greeted by the fast food greats. MAXERS like this – having a full and tasty choice of artery-cloggers gives us a warm, fuzzy feeling. Hmmm, could that be a mini stroke?!
"Hmmm, could that be a mini stroke?!"
Millsy and I went for the healthy and sustainable option – for the first time in our lives – and sampled the Greggs vegan sausage roll. It was pretty tasty to be fair, but lacked the salty, greasy goodness of a pukka, piggy pastry.
Forecourt fun: 7/10
Service stations are known for their outright robbery petrol prices, but there’s nowt we can do about this and we shall not dwell on it. As long as there’s room between the pumps for our super-wide Max motors, and sympathetic lighting to bring out freshly polished paintwork, we’re happy. My BM looked pretty sweet, so it’s a happy Dan here (even if you look like a miserable sod in the picture - Millsy).
Vistas is a posh word for view. Sorry about that! At Thurrock, you’re spoilt. Indeed, we’d recommend it for a date with the missus for a special occasion, like a birthday, or if you’re after your brown wings. The view is stunning, over a large lake and rolling woodland. Very romantic.
Sure, you can’t see into the bushes where likely are hidden rusty shopping trollies, endless crumpled jazz mags, and even the odd corpse, but, from afar, it’s truly idyllic. Millsy got all misty-eyed as he smoked his ciggies.
Rating: 7.5/10 - a slightly sordid feeling services full of truckers but some hidden delights (apart from the vegan sausage roll from Greggs!).